Marilyn J. Benson grew up in a Minnesota farming family wondering as a child if she was really "saved." Her spiritual memoir recounts her journey out of the fear and guilt of her evangelical Christian upbringing and her struggle to find her agency as a woman in a male-dominated family, culture, and church. Her search wends its way through an evangelical Christian college, marriage, birth of a child in remote Alaska, divorce and single parenting in 1970s San Francisco, a Quaker community in Pennsylvania, and seminary. This is a memoir for anyone seeking their own awakening.